Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Some thoughts

What does it take to make a family?
One that won't break when the bumps come along.
What does it take to make a family?
People who work and love and laugh
People who sing a song.
What does it take to make a family?
One that is there even when you are wrong.
What does it take to make a family?
People who all forgive and help.
People who sing a song.

What does it take to make a family?
One that will help you learn to be strong.
...People who all believe in you
...One that will last more than just this life long
...People who love eternally
What Does It Take to Make a Family? from My Turn on Earth

At our last round of adoption training, one of the presenters talked about how we don't "own" our children, even though people talk about their "own children."  I really started thinking about the difference between the attitude of "owning" versus the attitude of "stewardship."  We don't own Ellie or Lynlee, but through the miracle of adoption and our generous birth moms, we have been given stewardship for them.  We are responsible to raise them to be healthy, strong women who make moral and ethical choices.  We are responsible to teach them the gospel of Jesus Christ and help them feel the love of the Savior.  We are responsible to provide for their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.  We are responsible to love them unconditionally.  All of these responsibilities are a privilege that I would not trade.

We affix labels to our relationships with others: mother, daughter, wife, sister, birth mother, grandmother, step-mother, coworker, teacher, friend.  We nurture and build relationships because they are vital, and we need the love and support of those in our lives.  I think relationships are not defined by their label, but by the love that is shared.

Bottom line for me?  I love Ellie and Lynlee and their birth moms with all my heart.  I love Greg.  I love the Savior.  All of us are linked together - forever.


Jonette said...

I agree Heather. I have always felt that these sweet spirits that we get to take care of here on earth are our stewardship. They are Heavenly Father's children. We just get the wonderful chance to get to know these spirits, love them, care for them and teach them. What an amazing blessing it is.

Julie M said...

Thank you for this post. As we go through life we often forget some of these basic truths and I appreciate you for bringing them to the forefront of my mind again. Ellie and Lynlee are truly lucky to be under the stewardship of both you and Greg and their birth moms are lucky to be so loved by both of you as well. What a remarkable year and a half you guys have had!


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